When your world is consumed by anxiety and depression, you have an overwhelming need to find the solution. It’s like looking for the golden ticket, the ticket to freedom. You try every which way to think yourself out of the nightmare you’re in.
I know. I still do it from time to time. But take note my friends. The worst thing you can do to perpetuate the anxiety, is to constantly search for the answer. It is the over-thinking that causes the problem.
In my experience and over my journey, I have tried every therapy, every medication, every diet and every supplement. All in an effort to finally rid myself of this beast. I wholeheartedly believe that each one brings benefits of some sort, along the way. And each has a place in recovery. But the truth is that sometimes the ‘searching’ and ‘trying’ to ‘fix’ yourself, can make matters worse and prolong the pain.
Learning to see that the fight is making you more stressed will actually bring relief. So I tell you right now. Stop! Stop looking. Stop trying so hard. Just BE.
Right now, if u are or have been in a constant state of anxiety and depression for some time, then I can guarantee that your poor body and soul are exhausted. Exhausted from the fight and looking for the miracle that will bring your old self back.
Well there is a miracle. It is acceptance and allowing yourself to just be. You will heal. Time will heal you if you just step out of your own way. If you take one thought away from this blog post, then let it be this: you do not need to fight any more.
Learning to not fight, to accept myself, as I am right now, has given me immeasurable freedom and peace.
Anyone who suffers anxiety knows that feeling when you believe that you are your own worst enemy. If only you could stop thinking. If only you were stronger. If only you could stop these horrible thoughts.
If I just say to you. Stop fighting. You will be ok. Your confidence will return. But that confidence and peace will only return if you give yourself a break. The healing process takes time. There is no immediate cure. But if you look after yourself. Look after your battered body and soul then peace will return. The key is patience.
There is always some pressure for us to be well and whole right now. This day, this week, this month. But, at this point in your life you are not quite there. The reason doesn’t really matter. What matters is that right now, in this moment, you have to care for yourself and let yourself off the hook. Say to yourself that right now you are anxious and low. But if you can give yourself a break, take time out. Stop thinking and just be, then the healing will begin.
I read an interesting article on the subject that included this sentence: ‘Don’t say yes when you mean no, and don’t say no when you mean yes!’. This sentence really resonated with me. All too often I am in a place where I say yes to things, when really inside I am struggling and I should be saying no. And its ok to say no. Doing what feels right for you, right now, is the most important thing. Don’t put pressure on yourself. In time, parts of you will return, piece by piece, layer by layer, and you will get back to a place where you can say ‘yes’ again.
Most anxious people I know are very driven people. This drive keeps you strong. But it also keeps you fighting and you’re fighting something you cannot win with boxing gloves. The kind of fight you need is with kid gloves. You will win by allowing yourself to just be.
As you take the pressure off yourself, you find a peace. It’s OK not to be OK. It’s OK to feel battered. There will be days you can accept it and days that you can’t. But either way, if you stick to a promise of giving yourself a break and just be, you will find that parts of you start to return.
Be black and white about it. The grey murkiness does not help. Say to yourself that right now you need care. Right now you are not as strong as you have been or will be again. And that’s ok. Stick with one route to healing and don’t stray.
When full recovery comes you will be bigger and better than ever. You will be stronger, wiser, more considerate and kind. You will have an understanding of this illness that no one else can have. You will be strong enough to face anything that’s ahead of you, armed with the knowledge that you already managed to get through so much.
Time heals everything. Your body knows what it needs. The constant barrage of thinking and stress is not what it needs. Treat yourself as you would a good friend or as a child. Lots of TLC and no more pressure. Just acceptance. Just being who you are, right now. Time will show you that you have not gone anywhere. Your confidence may be battered right now, but that will heal too. You will be more confident, more you, than ever before. I know how brave you are. I know how strong you are. To have traveled this far, you are amazing in my eyes. Don’t ever underestimate that. So whilst you wait it out, to become strong again, just be.
Onwards and upwards my loves. Always Kiki xox