Tag Archives: blog

WELL-BEING TECHNIQUES // 3 Things

June 24, 2016

 

3 Things

This is a simple and practical exercise to remind yourself of your greatness. Loving and accepting yourself is crucial to good mental health and well-being.

So, take some paper. And write:

  • 3 nice things that someone said about you.
  • 3 nice things you’ve done for others.
  • 3 good memories.

Always keep your list near you – in your diary, journal or organiser.

Read it often. Remind yourself often, how wonderful you are.

Onwards, Kiki xox

” You are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful and you are important.”

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For more advice:

Depression & Anxiety

Well-being techniques

Fibromyalgia

DEPRESSION // #DiffAbility.

February 16, 2016

 

diffability

#DiffAbility. What is it?

I’m loving this new phrase. Inspired by a quote I saw last week. We are no longer in possession of a disability. But instead have a different-ability. It’s #DiffAbility.

Having mental health illness or any disability for that matter, automatically puts you in an ‘abnormal’ category. But really, what is normal anyway? Many people suffering mental health illness, are also hugely gifted in other ways. More gifted, it would seem, than your average person, who does not suffer mental health disease. Continue reading

RESOLUTIONS // A new year

January 12, 2016

resolutions

This time of year is intrinsically associated with a fresh start. It is a time where many of us look to make changes to our lifestyle choices, our self care, our negative habits, basically ourselves.
What worries me about this is that when that clock strikes midnight on the 1st of January, there is an immediate pressure to be a better version of yourself than you were just a minute before. So in the blink of an eye we go from living as we have wanted to, over the most festive period of the year, to immediately wanting to remodel ourselves; body and soul. Continue reading

Dealing with bad days

July 16, 2015

With all this good advice and all the techniques and medications out there to help you feel good, how come we still have bad days? 

The truth is everyone has bad days. Some worse than others. Some have bad weeks, bad months. The length of time is not important. What’s important is how you cope with those days when everything you try leaves you still feeling empty.

Quite often I will be riding high and everything is going like a dream. Life is good and most importantly, I FEEL good. Then you wake up maybe the next day and you know something is different. You’re not sure what, you just feel low, Lifeless, no energy, no get up and go. When these days come I’m usually suffering a bit of pms. Or I’ve been doing too much.

On these days  give yourself love, kindness and care. Do NOT beat yourself down for not meeting your own high expeditions. Allow yourself time to heal. Knowing that when you’re able you will get back on track to bettering yourself in all ways.

The key is not to catashrophise the bad day. The key is to see it for what it is and accept that for this day you feel crap and you will likely not achieve very much.

Most importantly you have to be KIND to yourself. Think of all you have gone through, and how far you have come. Rather than beating yourself up that your down again, just remind yourself of your strength, and love yourself anyway.

Beating yourself up for not getting much done, or crying, or getting angry with someone, is not going to make you better. Time will pass and you will improve. It’s just hard to remember that as you tuck into the tub of ice cream to drown your sorrows.

Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Tell yourself all will be ok. You are amazing and very brave and strong and any bumps in the road will only make you stronger in the long run.

Hold on to the great methods here on this blog, for feeling and staying well and all will come good again.

Onwards and upwards my loves. Huge hugs xx

Techniques – Just be

May 4, 2015

just be may 2015

When your world is consumed by anxiety and depression, you have an overwhelming need to find the solution. It’s like looking for the golden ticket, the ticket to freedom. You try every which way to think yourself out of the nightmare you’re in.

I know. I still do it from time to time. But take note my friends. The worst thing you can do to perpetuate the anxiety, is to constantly search for the answer. It is the over-thinking that causes the problem.

In my experience and over my journey, I have tried every therapy, every medication, every diet and every supplement. All in an effort to finally rid myself of this beast. I wholeheartedly believe that each one brings benefits of some sort, along the way. And each has a place in recovery.  But the truth is that sometimes the ‘searching’ and ‘trying’ to ‘fix’ yourself, can make matters worse and prolong the pain.

Learning to see that the fight is making you more stressed will actually bring relief. So I tell you right now. Stop! Stop looking. Stop trying so hard. Just BE.

Right now, if u are or have been in a constant state of anxiety and depression for some time, then I can guarantee that your poor body and soul are exhausted. Exhausted from the fight and looking for the miracle that will bring your old self back.

Well there is a miracle. It is acceptance and allowing yourself to just be. You will heal. Time will heal you if you just step out of your own way. If you take one thought away from this blog post, then let it be this: you do not need to fight any more.

Learning to not fight, to accept myself, as I am right now, has given me immeasurable freedom and peace.

Anyone who suffers anxiety knows that feeling when you believe that you are your own worst enemy. If only you could stop thinking. If only you were stronger. If only you could stop these horrible thoughts.

If I just say to you. Stop fighting. You will be ok. Your confidence will return. But that confidence and peace will only return if you give yourself a break. The healing process takes time. There is no immediate cure. But if you look after yourself. Look after your battered body and soul then peace will return. The key is patience.

There is always some pressure for us to be well and whole right now. This day, this week, this month. But, at this point in your life you are not quite there. The reason doesn’t really matter. What matters is that right now, in this moment, you have to care for yourself and let yourself off the hook. Say to yourself that right now you are anxious and low. But if you can give yourself a break, take time out. Stop thinking and just be, then the healing will begin.

I read an interesting article on the subject that included this sentence: ‘Don’t say yes when you mean no, and don’t say no when you mean yes!’. This sentence really resonated with me. All too often I am in a place where I say yes to things, when really inside I am struggling and I should be saying no. And its ok to say no. Doing what feels right for you, right now, is the most important thing. Don’t put pressure on yourself. In time, parts of you will return, piece by piece, layer by layer, and you will get back to a place where you can say ‘yes’ again.

Most anxious people I know are very driven people. This drive keeps you strong. But it also keeps you fighting and you’re fighting something you cannot win with boxing gloves. The kind of fight you need is with kid gloves.  You will win by allowing yourself to just be.

As you take the pressure off yourself, you find a peace. It’s OK not to be OK. It’s OK to feel battered. There will be days you can accept it and days that you can’t. But either way, if you stick to a promise of giving yourself a break and just be, you will find that parts of you start to return.

Be black and white about it. The grey murkiness does not help. Say to yourself that right now you need care. Right now you are not as strong as you have been or will be again. And that’s ok. Stick with one route to healing and don’t stray.

When full recovery comes you will be bigger and better than ever. You will be stronger, wiser, more considerate and kind. You will have an understanding of this illness that no one else can have. You will be strong enough to face anything that’s ahead of you, armed with the knowledge that you already managed to get through so much.

Time heals everything. Your body knows what it needs. The constant barrage of thinking and stress is not what it needs. Treat yourself as you would a good friend or as a child. Lots of TLC and no more pressure. Just acceptance. Just being who you are, right now. Time will show you that you have not gone anywhere. Your confidence may be battered right now, but that will heal too. You will be more confident, more you, than ever before. I know how brave you are. I know how strong you are. To have traveled this far, you are amazing in my eyes. Don’t ever underestimate that. So whilst you wait it out, to become strong again, just be.

Onwards and upwards my loves.  Always Kiki xox

Depression – Gauge symptoms

March 10, 2015

gauge symptoms march 2015

 

This may seem an unusual one. But, during my darkest days my mum encouraged me to gauge each day and sometimes each moment on a scale of 1-10. I can assure you that at first I was a 10! But as days passed I may have had 10 minutes or an hour where the darkness and fear were not so bad. From this I could gauge myself as maybe a nine. This simple tool made all the difference to me, as it allowed me to see my progress, no matter how small. This progress gave me hope and strength to keep fighting on.

In the early days you feel you will never get through. The days are so long and every hour is like a lifetime. But when the light comes, even for the shortest time, you can see improvements. But unless you are gauging, you may miss these improvements and you will continue to feel overwhelmed. It will feel like nothing is getting better as the bad far outweighs the good. So keep checking in. The slightest improvement is so crucial and worth noting.

It’s so simple. But so effective. What is there worst you have ever felt? That’s a 10. Then Each day ask yourself. How am I today? Could it be you’re a nine. You may have had 10 minutes of freedom from your thoughts. This is positive. Then if one day is a little better than yesterday, then you may be an eight.

The key is to know that even though improvements may be minimal, they are still happening and without you realising this gives you hope and courage to carry on.

Remember your worst can’t get any worse. When you have hit rock bottom, the only way is up! So you can only improve. Over time you will notice little steps, improvements in your mood or less anxiety. On that day you might feel a seven.

Also. Depression is worse first thing in the morning. The minute you open your eyes it is there. But it does improve over the day. You will start to notice this.

I guess the point here is to change your focus. It is so overwhelming when you are so low and anxious. It’s easy not to see any improvements at all in the early days. You want to pull the duvet over your head as you don’t have the strength to fight. But if you change your focus, and notice moments of relief, then you can hold on to these moments as a good thing. As time passes I guarantee that your pain will diminish. By using the gauge in your mind, you will see the improvements. You will find that one morning, without you noticing, you didn’t need to ask yourself how you are. This means that you are definitely on the up!

It’s important to say here that gauging anxiety attacks is a different thing. You can be in the grips of an attack and be at a 10. But it can’t stay that way for long. Within minutes you may feel the anxiety easing and you can gauge this as it’s grip lessens. You may then be only an eight. Then a five. If you suffer both anxiety and depression it might be useful to have two gauges. One for how your mood is and one for your anxiety.

The hardest thing is that depression and anxiety take time to heal. You may have to wait for medication or therapy to start taking effect. Whilst you’re waiting keep gauging and let those moments of freedom give you hope. All will be well eventually. You are so brave for holding on. But it will be worth it.

Let me know your thoughts, Always Love, Kiki xxx