It’s all about the baby steps. I’ve had a good couple of weeks overall. I have been up and dressed with makeup on every day! I’ve been around the house helping with chores and even contributing to our never ending food purchase, preparation, and cooking conveyer belt, that we have all grown to love so much with healthier living. And I’ve been doing this pretty consistently for the past few weeks. Now, this may not seem like a lot to shout out about, but when you have lived life with depression, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, then being part of such seemingly small things, is certainly nothing to scoff at. Continue reading
Is your glass half full? Or half empty? It’s an age old question, but still holds so true. If we see the glass as half empty then it seems we are edging toward the negative; we are not seeing the positive. If it’s half full, then we are almost certainly a more positive person. But is your ability to see it empty or full, determined by your attitude to life? And if so, can you change it?
It seems in life there are two camps. The glass half full. And the glass half empty. There may be a million reasons why one person is swayed to one direction of thought. There has been a lot of study, and I recently listened to a really interesting TED talk that looked at this in detail. It seems that our brains are hard wired to focus on the negative. It comes naturally to us. And if we are given options that indicate a loss in any way, then most people would be hard pressed to overlook that loss in favour of a gain. It seems that once we see something as half empty, it’s really hard for us to change our view to half full. But it an be done. With practice.
I’ve talked about gratitude lots of times here on the blog. But it appears that the simple act of asking yourself 3 positive things that happened at the end of your day, can turn a day of hideous havoc, into a day that was actually pretty good.
Looking at the positive takes practice. Hard. Dedicated. Practice. Because us humans are wired to see the worst. Now if you’re suffering depression and anxiety, then this hard wire negative line, will not help your well-being. In fact it will, without doubt, enhance the negativity.
How do you change your view?
It seems that even those more positive among us, will have a battle to see the positive in every day. But if you’re depressed or anxious, your job is going to be harder. But it can be done.
Start simply by beginning and ending each day with one positive thought or something for which you are grateful. If you can think of 2 or 3 things, then that’s even better. But you must be consistent. You must me dedicated to it. With practice it can change your hard-wire pessimism into positivity.
Either get a gratitude journal. Or a gratitude jar. The journal you write in each day. The jar, you think of one happy, positive thing that happened that day and put it down on a slip of paper. You put that paper in the jar. At the end of the week, month or year, you empty your jar and you are presented with hundreds of reasons to be happy and grateful.
I think the fact that we are hard wired to see the negative, can give you some comfort. You’re not a pessimist. You’re human. But if you’re struggling to find positive things in your life, because of your mental anguish, then a simple way to start is to practice being thankful. Even for one small thing. And as you do this, then the hundreds of negatives can be put to one side, just for a moment, as you bask in the happy.
Onwards my loves. Kiki xox
” You are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful and you are important.”
Don’t forget to subscribe in the subscription box at the bottom of the page. If your mobile, keep scrolling. If you’re on your laptop or PC then enter your email address in the subscription box on the right of the screen. This way new posts come straight to your inbox.
For more advice:
Travelling has always been something I enjoyed to do. Even though it had some bad memories attached, I didn’t let it hold me back. I got back on the horse and didn’t feel afraid of being away from home. There were girls holidays in Europe, long haul trips to the USA and South Africa and many weekend breaks in the UK and abroad. Continue reading
I don’t know about you, but when something is wrong with me or with those I love, I want answers. I’m not one for burying my head in the sand. I want a logical explanation for what’s going on and then I want a solution. I want tools to get me through; advice and support; real action. I do not want to be told ambiguous statements, such as ‘ You’re garden variety Kiki, it happens to many people.’ This is fine. It may happen to many people. But it does not happen to me?!
Well it did. And so the search began. Continue reading
‘You are strong!’ I can’t tell you how many times my loved ones have told me this over the years. Time and time again. I rarely believed it. I felt nothing like a strong person. I felt weak and timid and useless.
Strength and depression are not usually bandied about in the same sentence. It’s not something that a sufferer would think about themselves. When you suffer with depression and crippling anxiety, the last thing you feel is strong. You relate far more to a timid mouse! A lion? No! Continue reading
Little did I know when I started this blog a year ago, that I would be entering into one of the toughest periods of my life. A depression so tough that I didn’t even see it coming. I was unaware how deep I’d gone. I thought I knew the beast. I thought I knew all the signs. But it seems not. I had forgotten how this disease creeps up on you. It also changes it’s spots. A new edge each time.
Physically I was already struggling, when I launched the blog. But I genuinely thought I had a handle on my mental demons. I did not. My depression was mental and physical this time. Continue reading