Monthly Archives: March 2017

DEPRESSION// A room with a view. 

March 17, 2017


I’m wearing the Boden Tilly Jumper 

How do you keep going when the dark night rages against you? How do you stay positive? How do you keep your momentum? How do you not give up and go home?

When you have battled the hell that is the fear of your own mind, and you come through and come back to some semblance of yourself, you realize something; you realize that even after the terror and fear and hopelessness and despair, that it actually doesn’t last forever. You realise that an end does come. And when the light comes, you love that light with every part of your body and soul. And you see life in a whole new light. You see beauty where you didn’t see it before. You are grateful for the most insignificant things, like reading or watching tv. For sun filled days and cold crisp mornings. For family that never left your side. For enjoying a meal and savouring food again. For really hearing a baby laugh. For your own smile

When the darkness has gripped you so tight that almost all your light had been rung out, you genuinely thank God for the air you breathe. For if nothing else that this despicable beast does, it humbles you. It softens you and it makes you more grateful than ever. 

It’s only when you’ve walked that dark path, can you know the room with a view is at the end of a long corridor. And it is in knowing that that light will come, that you keep walking in the darkness. You keep putting one foot in front of the other. You keep functioning as well as you can. Just because you know it’s a waiting game. Yes, there are things you can do to help the process along, but it’s the faithful knowledge that it will come to an end, that is the most powerful thing. 

Life throws at us dark and long corridors. To each his own. It could be depression. It could be stressful life events. It could be illness. Whatever it is that darkens our door, is our own cross to bear. But I want to assure you. It will not last. The pain will not last. It may change. It may change you. You may learn new ways to cope. But by whatever means, the universe will bring you to a room with a view. And you will once again be able to enjoy the light and enjoy the view. 

What I know for sure is this: life is tough. Real rough at times. But nothing lasts forever. In the end there will always be something that breaks the darkness. And you will smile. And when you know you are at the end of that corridor you will give the biggest sigh of relief. You will bask in the light. 

When you reach the room with a view, you won’t be the same. The journey will have changed you. But one thing I know for sure is this: it will have given you the most priceless gift – the knowledge of your own strength. For it is in this knowledge that you will face any adversity that life can throw at you. Because you survived. You are a survivor. And armed with this strength, any manner of beasts can show up at your door, it doesn’t matter, because you will KNOW that the light always comes to you. And you will know that you have the strength to take on the darkest of corridors. And again when you have walked the darkness you will be led again, right up to your room with a view. 

When you get there, bask in the light. It’s yours for the taking and one thing I know for sure, you earned it. 

Onwards my loves, Kiki xox